Other doors open

If I turn the clock back around 7 months (perhaps the start of this year) I was in a state of confusion and uncertainty. I knew that the work I did was important, responsible, of great influence and authority, pivotal in one organisation's reputation and potentially survival. But I wasn't satisfied, the work was draining (14 to 16 hours per day), relentless, and more importantly, not satisfying.

I wasn't doing what I was PASSIONATE about. I wasn't happy with myself (isn't it funny how most often we think "I'm not happy with [select one of: my job, my work, my friend, my partner, my pay, my fitness, my life, my health, my wealth, my television, my shoes ...]". It took me a long (and I mean looooooong) time to realise that everything comes back to whether one is happy with ONESELF, rather than anything outside oneself. And I'm not sure what made me realise this.

So I was confused about what to do, uncertain about how to lead a more fulfilling life, confused about what would make me feel happier with myself, uncertain about whether to continue with the highly responsible job I had or not. After much thought and help, I decided to leave full time employment (which paid REALLY well, had GREAT benefits).

People around me kept telling me other doors would open. "Don't worry, you'll find another job, another role, OTHER DOORS WILL OPEN...". I didn't really believe this would happen and I stressed about what doors could possibly open. But then I let go of that stress and decided to let things take their course. And I did this with one intention in mind - I needed to be passionate about what I did, to be happy within myself. I kept getting told this but until I really DID let go and allow other doors to open, they didn't.

But guess what I just realised, when you ALLOW other doors to open, and when you do that with the feeling within you that you WANT other doors to open, that you KNOW other doors will open, that you BELIEVE other doors will open, they don't just open, they open in droves. (see my previous post about "The way you search").

So I wanted to start my own business and wanted to set it up as a coaching business. This is my passion in life - to coach others, to help others realise their potential, to help other see the greatness in themselves, the essence and light within themselves. I left full time employment and decided to start working for myself, working in my own business with the intent of realising my dream - to fulfil my passion. And I let myself BELIEVE that this is possible and told myself that it WILL happen.

And since I started pursuing my passion, with that DEEP belief that it would happen if I ALLOWED it to happen, I've found not just one, but MANY ways to realise my dream. I've got people now approaching ME to become a coach - rather than having to hunt for ways to make that happen. The organisation I work with want me to continue working with them in the coaching sphere, another organisation who can potentially find me work wants me to work with THEM in the coaching sphere, my careers coach wants me to work with HIM in the coaching realm, one of my students just introduced me to what he's learnt in the coaching world, a coach I contacted through LinkedIn wants me to work in the coaching methodology that HE's passionate about, and of course the place where I wanted to study has been encouraging me to work with THEM in the same area. Almost overwhelming one could say :). (by the way, I just enrolled with the institute that has held my interest for a long time).

Amazing how many doors open when you truly need them to, want them to and deeply believe that they will. I am now living my dream and know that that (to use the words my careers coach keeps throwing at me) the BEST is yet to come.

The way you search..

See the title of this blog could easily have been a question : "How do you search?" - but let me recount the story of a profound experience i had a couple of weeks ago and you'll know why the title is a statement and not a question..

A couple of weeks ago, I was coordinating a training event for around 100 participants - and using 5 facilitators from the company I work with. So we were spread out over 5 rooms in a Learning Centre at our client (yes a large client who could afford to build a Learning Centre).. So we used 5 different training rooms across the complex for the 5 groups.

I misplaced my pen while setting up the rooms. And didn't notice until I needed the pen around 1/2 hour after training started. So I was moving around the training centre searching. The key Maintenance staff member who looked after the centre asked me an interesting question:

"So what are you doing?" to which I replied "I can't find my pen".

His follow up question was "So what are you telling yourself while you're searching? Are you saying to yourself 'I can't find my pen? or 'Why can't i find my pen'? or are you saying to yourself - 'I'm gonna find my pen - I want to find my pen'??"

Now that pulled me up - I knew what I was thinking and probably mumbling "I can't find my pen". or I was thinking "Why can't I find my pen?". I immediately stopped and was compelled to say to him - "actually I WAS asking myself the question of why I can't find my pen - now I'm going to say to myself, I WILL find my pen - I WANT to find my pen". And as soon as I said that, I could feel the relief - not stressed any more about finding my pen - because I KNEW I would find my pen.

And, guess what? I found my pen as soon as the next break came up - as soon as I stopped stressing about it.

So don't dwell on the hard questions that you can't answer straight-away, (or even the easy ones), KNOW that you will find the answer to the question and you WILL. So the way you search for something has a big impact on whether you find it..

I stopped stressing about my dream job that I always wanted - and now I'm living my dream.. You can too.

Bommer.