Happily Ever After

I read a story once about this fruit shop. I don’t know whether this is a true story or not - it could have been. Or perhaps it’s just an urban fable. I truly can’t remember where I read this anecdote - perhaps in some marketing book or the other. My apologies to the author of that book for reproducing this story without permission.

There was a small town with one street. A fruit merchant / grower decided to open a fruit shop on this main street. He called his shop “The Best Fruit Shop on this Street”.

Business was fine until another fruit merchant decided to open a second fruit shop on this town’s main street. Perhaps at the other end of the street or across the road - whatever - it doesn’t make any difference to this anecdote. This second merchant called his shop “The Best Fruit Shop in Town”. Whereupon, the first fruit shop owner changed his sign to “The Best Fruit Shop in the District”.

Not to be outdone, the second shop owner changed his sign to “The Best Fruit Shop in the State”. And you guessed it, the first shop owner changed his sign to “The Best Fruit Shop in the Country”. The second shop owner called his shop “The Best Fruit Shop in the World”.

Now the original fruit shop owner decided he didn’t have anywhere to go in this shop signage competition. After some thought, he changed the sign on his shop BACK to “The Best Fruit Shop on this Street”. He realised that no matter how good your shop was in the “world” - which incidentally could really mean the “world outside this town”, all he needed to be was the best fruit shop in this single street. Which incidentally happened to be the only street in town. That’s all that mattered! To be the best right here... not elsewhere!

So I hear you ask what this story has to do with the title of this piece of writing. This story comes back to me whenever I’m down in the dumps and feel unhappy. Whenever I feel that the future looks bleak.

I read Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” (http://eckharttolle.com/the_power_of_now) sometime last year. (Actually I must admit I haven’t finished the last chapter!! Time seems to have run amok with my life!!!). I read the story above some 8 or 9 years ago. For those who’ve read “The Power of Now”, and for some who haven’t, you can probably see where I might be going with this ramble.

The future doesn’t matter at all. What matters is this one moment right NOW! To me It’s important that I’m happy NOW! I really shouldn’t be worried about whether I will be happy tomorrow, or for the rest of this year, or until I retire from work or for the rest of this lifetime anyway. I try and just enjoy this moment. I can’t enjoy the next moment or the one after that as they haven’t happened as yet!!

So the concept of “Happily Ever After” is a myth. It’s a nonsensical phrase. Leave aside the fact that I won’t live forever in this basic physical world. I may live forever in spirit or my soul may live forever - but the very human emotional experience of “feeling happy” is directly linked to this physical living existence. Not forever!

So whenever I feel down, unhappy, unable to see a bright future, I remind myself that right at this moment, I need to be “up”, “happy” and not worried about the future. Ever after is nothing more than “this moment” an infinite number of times!

On Angels

On Family, Friends and other Guardian Angels - my thoughts and rambles:

What or Who are Angels?

Here's a set of definitions from Answers.com (http://www.answers.com/topic/angel):
angel
n.

1. A typically benevolent celestial being that acts as an intermediary between heaven and earth, especially in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Zoroastrianism.
2. A representation of such a being, especially in Christianity, conventionally in the image of a human figure with a halo and wings.
3. angels Christianity. The last of the nine orders of angels in medieval angelology. From the highest to the lowest in rank, the orders are: seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations or dominions, virtues, powers, principalities, archangels, and angels.
4. A guardian spirit or guiding influence.
5. (a) A kind and lovable person.
   (b) One who manifests goodness, purity, and selflessness.
6. Informal. A financial backer of an enterprise, especially a dramatic production or a political campaign.

Yes - there are some theistic definitions of the concept of an Angel (1, 2, and 3 above). Forget number 6 above for the moment - although if you take out the words "financial backer" and replace with "supporting influence" or some such, then you may still want to consider this one. But look at the other definitions of Angel above - particularly 4 and 5. I like these.

I like to think of Angels as the concept that one of my naturopaths once painted for me. Let me explain.

There was a time when I was truly down in the dumps. I was in a dark place within myself. I say this not as some cliche "dark place" - but I was truly depressed about my life. I put this down to my home life - and I later discovered for myself that I was wrong about this cause of my depression. I used to have terribly dark dreams of dirty places (in the sense that a moldy old bathroom floor is dirty), and human bodies, and other imagery that used to frighten me. This was not long ago - around 2006 / 7. My closest friends have known about this period of my life - but I'm not sure they knew the depths of my depression and unhappiness. I never expressed the real feelings that I used to have.

Then I turned things around for myself with help from a counselor. As part of helping myself, (and after hearing about the success a very close friend of mine had with her naturopath), I decided to go see a naturopath. The first naturopath that I saw (Heidi) was quite a spiritual lady. On my first visit she congratulated me on taking the steps to make myself better. Heidi described my actions of helping myself as crying out to angels. According to Heidi (and I agree with her), Angels are those beings who are just waiting around in the spirit world to hear your call and come to your aid - whether that call is a prayer, a wish, a need or any other cry for help. I have extrapolated this idea for myself.

I think of Angels as those beings, be they celestial, spiritual OR HUMAN, who come to your aid in any small way that puts a smile on your face, or makes you feel at ease, or helps ease a burden of any sort - WHEN YOU MOST NEED THIS. This is not such a celestial definition of Angels - I know. After all I don't expect too much from the universe around me. I can see a miracle in a grain of sand or in a dust mote. So to me, Angels can be any of the above people who come to my aid when I most need help or cheering up. Angels may be living, or dead or celestial immortal beings, they may be real or imaginary, but I like to see and appreciate the angels around me.

Another definition of an Angel is "An Angel is a force of light, many different types, all working for a higher power" (http://www.religions-and-spiritualities-guide.com/angels-definition.html). I consider all living things as working for a higher power. So any human being who adds light to my life is an angel - even the smallest particle of light. All of my friends - particularly those who I am or have been close to - have been guardian angels to me at some time or the other.

Our daughter, Anita, is a pure being. I'd describe Anita as severely disabled. Anita can't walk, doesn't talk - just vocalizes baby babble at the top of her voice. But Anita does communicate. She can touch you, pull at your clothes, grab your hand, clap her hands, smile, laugh, cry, vocalize. One thing I HAVE learnt about my daughter, Anita cannot sin - she doesn't have the ability to commit a sin - she can't talk, cannot lie, cannot cheat, cannot commit a crime. When I was truly down in the dumps, I actually relied on Anita to pick me up. I thought that Anita used to seek too much of MY attention in particular - she used to sound like she was winging EVERY time she saw me! I thought I was always too tired to pay her any attention. And as such, I used to avoid her. Then I realised that Anita was simply asking to be with me. Asking to play with me.

I then started to see that I was special to her, and started to spend time with Anita. I talk to her, sing to her, tell her stories, nursery rhymes, play with her. When I do, the smiles that I get, and the attention I get, just light up my life. Anita is my most influential Angel (perhaps my guardian Angel? Weird concept isn't it - that one can think of one's disabled daughter as a guardian angel?). And I cannot begin to tell you the joy I feel just being with her. I think Anita was sent here to us to teach me. Teach me to love, to be selfless, to find joy in the most amazing of places, to be tolerant of the most ridiculous situations, the most difficult people, the most difficult of nights, to be patient - with events, objects and people, and with myself. Anita has been there to pull me out of my depths of darkness.

Yes - I know, surely you may think that it would have been another family member - one of my loving parents or my beautiful wife (Irene) or my amazing son (Kiran), or some close friend, or a counsellor, or a medico who've helped me to pull myself out of darkness. No - it really has been Anita.

So your family members can be your guardian angels. Your friends can be your guardian angels. Particularly the friends who have nothing but your interest at heart. Use their help, but don't ask for it. If they're the angel of the moment, you'll get it anyway. Look into the deep inner support that they offer you, the love that they have for you, the teachings that they impart to you - even if that's not in words (Anita can't say a single word), whether you ask it of them or not!

I need to keep reminding myself that my guardian angels are actually here and can and do help me. It's easy to forget when I'm busy living life, when I'm unhappy or worried or stressed. But I need to keep consciously reminding myself.

Your guardian angels are all around you. You just need to be able to see them.